Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Bother is good

She's sorry to be a bother.

How do I answer? That she's not a bother (my desire to calm and reassure). Or that she is a bother but that's what we are called to. To bear one another's bother-ness.

She is loving me enough to let me bother.

Another apologises for the tears she sheds over coffee. Sorry to talk about the depression or the failure or the overwhelming lostness. We tell her that it is joy to be real, to know her search and that she lets us talk about God and his comfort.

Why all this delicacy? This hiding from pain? This pretence?

People hidden but longing to be noticed and their wounds salved. Sad, that we go to such trouble to be OK and to not make trouble for people. Sad that inside we are trembling and teetering on tears, and comfort seems such a bother.

We are the disciples of the one who bears burdens and soothes the weary. The more we do that for each other - the more we allow the bother in, and let the bother be OK - the more people will be drawn to this family. Because we are real and we let each other in.

8 comments:

Brenda said...

This is a gorgeous post, and such a timely reminder. Thank you.

Kath said...

Hey Brenda,
Lovely to welcome you here!
love Kath

Ramblings by Carol Nuckols said...

The thing is, usually it isn't a bother. What are friends for?

Kati patrianoceu said...

Great insights. I think I apologise for being a bother out of pride - I would rather take care of myself and others than have to depend on them.

emily wierenga said...

yes! kath, this is exactly it. this is why i started imperfect prose in the first place (well, one of the reasons)... so we as believers can feel free to be broken with each other. you get it! beautiful. gospel truth.

ELK said...

a wonderful way to think of friendship and i do not like to be a "bother " either..you made me reconsider today...

Courtney Walsh said...

well that sure is true. gosh, i love this.

alittlebitograce said...

mmm...such beautiful, life-giving words! thank you!