"But in God's kingdom we operate by grace, which is an inverted logic that is both rational and paradoxical." Dan Allender, Leading With A Limp (p.92)
Leaders like to have the answer. I like to have a plan that I know how to follow.
But sometimes things get complicated. Sometimes we don't know what to do. Those are the times it's easy to stick to what we do know. And become rigid. Because ambiguity is scary. An unknown future is scary.
I love to stick to the rules the most, when my children are asking for me to do something differently. When they want something new to happen. But I can't just keep saying, "No you can't walk home from school by yourselves." One day I will need to say "Yes." To surrender my need to control (in one little area).
The situations can be more complex - Whether to make a person stay in hospital because they are at risk of deliberately hurting themselves? The answer can be simple. Make everyone stay, then they will all be safe and we will rest easy that the job is done. But each situation is different; each person is unique; each risk is subtly shaped. Creatively finding solutions means sometimes diverting from the rule. It means listening much harder to the problem to make a better informed decision. It means surrendering some control, giving some choice to the vulnerable one. And it opens the possibility of being wrong. But that ambiguity also allows the possibility of hope.
"A leader blesses complexity because she knows it will humble the team, expose their idols of control, and invite them both to listen with greater depth and to open their hearts to the inverted, odd, paradoxical ways of God." Leading With A Limp (p.93)