I don't know

'Any philosopher's argument which does not therapeutically treat human suffering is worthless; for just as there is no profit in medicine when it does not expel the diseases of the body, so there is no profit in philosophy when it doesn't expel the sufferings of the mind.' Epicurus.

We search. We stretch our thoughts, our minds, and explore to gather morsels of meaning. Heartfelt longing for a feast of truth, so we can know and understand. This longing is a gift, a desire that can drive us Godward.

Gradually, we place the multitude of puzzle pieces into a mosaic. Gleaning, gathering, for the Big Picture. The Truth. Are we satisfied with the answers we find? Often we are, we can be bold in our answers, intrepid in searching. But sometimes we are not. Sometimes I am not.

The balance for the search is that we cannot always know enough. We cannot look at the whole sky from horizon to horizon, 360 degrees, without moving our heads and shifting perspective. We lose sight of the beginning when we turn to see the conclusion. Oh, for fish-eye lensed eyes.

The dialectic of earnest truth-seeking with the difficulty of finite mind knowing infinite truth.

Suffering begs the question 'why?' Sometimes we even cling to the wrong answer just because it feels safer than not knowing. Is that man blind because of his parents' sin? Did my child die because of my failure to care for them? Am I alone because I am not good enough? Do those people starve because God doesn't care?

Sometimes 'I don't know' is the hardest idea we could ever express. Indeed, me not having a clear, cogent, compelling response, does not mean it doesn't exist. It just means I am yet to find it.

I think that Jesus' answer to suffering is enough for me. But it isn't enough for everyone. Why not?

To seek, to wonder, to question is an attitude we need to have. But we need to stop and rest sometimes. To say 'I don't know' and trust. Trust that there is someone who can see the whole sky, horizon to horizon, all points of the compass.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 1 Corithians 13:12 (The Message)

A reflection on Rest, in response to Ann at Holy Experience's Walk With Him Wednesday.