Tuesday, September 13, 2011

It goes without saying...


The important stuff is hardest to form into sentences. For introverts. Probably for all of us.

My regard and warmth can be so comfortable, so integral, that I forget you are unaware of its presence. I neglect to say it aloud.

I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you that the possibility of talking to you is enough. That your very existence, and the repeated intersections of our lives are with me every day. That the times we laughed, or sorrowed or shared have worn grooves in me. The good kind of grooves, like smile lines etched around my eyes, or the hollow made by my elbow tucked around a child.

I'm doubly sure you've no idea that you are in my thoughts regularly. That for every time I speak to you, there's been a dozen when I pictured you and blessed you. My cards don't get written, or if they do, they don't always get sent. And I'm not excusing my disorganisation. Just letting you know I haven't forgotten.

I examine myself and know that the here and now absorbs me. I struggle to think in more than one dimension. And I'm sad that I don't respect and serve long-standing friendship faithfully enough. Because I don't want to leave important things unsaid.

I have wanted to trust in the economy of friendship. Being a faithful friend earns me good friends in return. I realise that this is another way to measure myself and strive for good enough.

It's that feeling at a party. When the celebration is for you and you worry that you're not enough reason for all the fuss. It creeps up at my fortieth when precious friends bring good wishes, presents and smiles. They while time with me. I fear you're wasting it but actually you've wrapped it and proudly given it to me. Because you love me.

There is no economy in friendship. I cannot buy it, or earn it, or store it up for later. Friendship is an extravagant, generous gift. You bring grace to the table, my friend. Thank you. A big loud thank you.

Sharing with Emily,

8 comments:

Jenny said...

Great post -as always Kath. really captures the less tangible nature of friendships.

Kath said...

Thanks Jenny, glad you enjoyed it. I find it so easy to miss out on saying what's really important.
Kath

Brian Miller said...

nice yes the only economy in friendships is that they carry great value...well beyond the time you actually get to spend together...

Brandee Shafer said...

I appreciate your efforts to say what you feel to those for whom you feel it. So important to say thank you, I love you, you make me better.

So funny that you mentioned your 40th just as I was writing about my husband's! :)

Anna @ path of treasure said...

"The important stuff is hardest to form into sentences." I've found that to be true!
Your post is a beautiful tribute to friendship.

emily wierenga said...

wow kath... "the hollow made by my elbow tucked around a child." one of many lines which i adored in this. a beautiful write...

Kath said...

Thanks for the visits and comments.

mel said...

a beautiful post.

friendship is so precious - a gift to be held gently and cherished.

a 40th is a wonderful opportunity to pause, reflect and be grateful for the first half of this fleeting life.

thankyou.