Conversation over a haircut

photo from stock.xchng

I made one of my infrequent visits to the hairdresser. She's pleasant to chat with, and accepting of my lassez faire, low maintenance attitude to hair. My ignorance of product. We compare stories of my children and her grandchildren. I update her about work and it starts her talking about refugees and migration.

Politics and religion. And immigration. #thingswedon'ttalkabout

She tells stories of people she knows from other cultures - all friends, all sympathetic portraits.

Then asks my opinion about refugees. And Islam and fundamentalism and burqas. She took my hesitation as an invitation for her opinions. No worries, I can do listening.

And she's quite happy to share.

Deep down, it's fear. Fear that refugees are extremists in disguise, that they'll get powerful before we realise it and they'll rip us all off by defrauding Centrelink. That burqas hide disdain and contempt for us. That refugees are different, they're not us and we might not like living next door to them.

I preferred her stories of people she's really met.

But sitting in her space, I found it hard to collect a coherent response. Since than I've formed a few ideas, but it's a long time till my next haircut.

I want to tell her about most of the refugees I've met. That they've been victims of religious persecution rather than perpetrators. That they don't want to leave their home country, they have to. In order to survive. That they spend months, years, days on end, mourning and missing their homes. Grieving the wives or children or siblings who were killed. Trying to forget the wounds they've received or the horror-filled memories seared into their brains.

That most of the Arabic speakers I've met are from Christian minority groups, and that the Iranians are those who have protested the Islamic state. That the idea of refugees promoting fundamentalism, or racial hatred when they bear its scars is oddly ridiculous.

That when she talks of pride in Australia and protecting our Australia, maybe the pride and the protecting rob of us the opportunity to be a nation of strength of character and true compassion.

Just a few ideas. What can you add?

The cost of good

I wake each weekday to Adam Spencer. That drifty time from sleep to wake is filled with today's new debate. A few weeks ago, I listened to callers complaining that their promised rebate for solar power going back into the electricity grid was being cut from sixty cents to forty cents a unit.

So it may be that my dream-laden state has influenced my reaction to this issue. People rang to complain about the government not honouring contracts and recounted stories of spending large amounts on solar panels with the plan that the rebate for extra power would pay the cost of the equipment. GetUp emailed me to join an email protest campaign. I just felt annoyed. The phrase "Suck it up" came to mind. Harsh, I know.

Today it filtered into my half-awake state again. Barry O'Farrell chatted with Adam about his 'backflip' on the solar rebate cuts. So the complaints were pretty vocal, and ultimately effective.

And I'm considering why I feel disappointed.

It's not because I'm against solar power, or because I'm against exerting political power.

I am annoyed about human nature. That we decide to make positive changes for the environment or the community, because they are cost effective, rather than because they are right. That we complain about our expected income decreasing because there are other needs in the community for government money to be spent on. That we expect that someone else should pay for our solar panels.

Ultimately, we are selfish beings and we don't like to consider that higher taxes, or lower rebates, or paying the true cost of goods, is actually going to benefit the community. There will be more money to spend on other people's needs - on Overseas Aid, on mental health programs, on employing people etc. etc. That I am not actually the most important person in the world. That some people are never going to see $55,000 let alone withdraw it from their super to buy solar panels for their house (and then expect the government to cover the cost and whinge when they'll only get two-thirds of it rather than all of it).

I am disappointed that we complain as if we are poor, when we live in one of the most affluent countries in the world. That we have such poor perspective on what really matters. And I'm talking to myself in this, too. I wish we could be people who do right because it is good to do right, not because it is economically viable or cost effective.

Here ends the rant :)

A phenomenon

The sound of Justin Bieber echoes in the hallway. I can hear girl voices whisper that they love him.

I took them (my 8 year old daughter and her friend) to see him at the movies - in 3-D (no less) and I felt my own childish enthusiasm as we were enveloped in the joyful adulation.

The voice of adult sensible-ness, in my head, reminds me that it's spin and that they're promoting an image - Justin Bieber is a product.

But music conveys emotion so well. The footage of the concerts made me want to be there, jumping to the beat and singing along. I wanted to enjoy the excitement and the freshness.

He was also very talented. He sang and danced his sixteen year old heart out (and got strained vocal cords at one point in the movie). He was musically gifted, playing three or four instruments, and seemed liked by the people in his "team". His mum loved him (and he was born while she was still a teenager herself), his grandparents loved him, and other musicians treated him with respect.

It would be easy to dismiss the whole phenomenon, to look down on his youth or his popularity. But is that coming out of jealousy or is it because we feel people should have to work harder or wait longer for success? Sometimes that sort of attitude is a lack of generosity, an unwillingness to delight in the giftedness of someone else.

And I am fascinated by the emotional attachment that we can have to famous people - people we admire or aspire to or just want to know. There were lots of teenage girls in the footage who insisted that Justin Bieber was going to be their boyfriend/husband.

We all long for a connection, for relationship, to be known by another person, significantly. And perhaps famous people are a safe way to begin experimenting in adult attachment. Unattainable relationships have the safety of never having to face real rejection - because deep down we know they will not happen.

I like...

I like a life that is not too flashy, but where there is space to sit and read and enjoy the breeze on the back of my neck.

I like to laugh and sometimes to get to the laughter that can't be stopped. It leaves me weak and clean.

I like to hear the stories of life. How you got to be you. What made you, what taught you, what comforted you and angered you.

I like soft skin against my cheek.

I like the everyday things that happen.

The sac around the policy gland

John Clarke and Brian Dawe tonight. He's right, the inflammation of the pericompromise is everywhere.

New Year - at the right time

(from stock.xchng)

Do you ever watch QI? There are lots of questions with seemingly obvious answers but the responses you think are true turn out to be wrong.

Last night's episode asked how many senses we have. The obvious answer is five. But no. As well as the usual  five, we also have a sense of balance, a sense of direction, a sense of body position, and a sense of time. Some people list up to 21.

For the past few months I have been hearing those familiar words...
"It's almost Christmas. Can you believe it? The year has gone so fast!"
Does our sense of time really tell us things are going too fast?
Are we fighting time?

Look at medicine - we are trying to defy disease and decay. Look at cosmetic surgery/procedures - we are trying to defy age. In our work, we try to do more in less time, bowing to the gods Efficiency and Outcomes. In our families we value 'quality time' and hate to 'waste' time. On birthdays, we focus on advancing age as a sign of decrepitude rather than a sign of wisdom. We gingerly celebrate the passing of time but nervously laugh that it may just 'catch up with us' as we run from it in fright.

But time goes at the pace God set it to go. Time passes because the world is on its way through a journey from its careful formation, to its eventual transformation. Each day has night because our bodies need restoration and relief from daily strains. Each year has seasons so that we and the earth can be renewed and refreshed. The marking of time allows us to be anchored, yet travelling, in our walk through life.

It's easy to wish that time would stand still for us to savour goodness or fit more worthy stuff in. And then sometimes the trials of life drive us to pray for the acceleration of time. We long for the shortest, fastest time of suffering for those we love, and it is natural that we do.

But let's stop fighting so desperately to beat time. It is actually our friend, a companion guiding us to the fulfillment of our lives. It is not our master, berating us for not getting enough done. Or our enemy, forcing us to measure our inadequacies. Time rescues us from being trapped in our mistakes and failures, drawing us to ultimate redemption. It gives us now to experience mercy and grace, today. It gives us hope, for tomorrow is new, fresh, unblemished. Time delivers us into a new day.

I want to try to accept my experience of  the pace of time. Not wish it away, not claw it back to me as I resist its flow. The new year will arrive at a propitious time, at just the right time. It will bring fresh hope and opportunity. The daily renewing I need to survive.

What makes a leader?

Is a leader defined by the way people follow them? If the following is faltering and small and broken, does that mean the leader is no leader?

It seems logical to say that we can recognise good leaders by the success of their ventures and the loyalty and commitment of those who follow. And perhaps we can.

When a leader has charisma, single-mindedness and strong vision, we are drawn to them. It is easy to respond to their call and to follow. Does that mean leaders should be charismatic, single-minded or committed to a particular defined vision? Can the more prosaic, the broader thinkers and the inclusive among us lead? Would God expect it of them, or call them to it, or gift them for it?

I am asking these questions out of confusion. I do not know the answers. I am resentful of those who criticise leadership or vision, but do not want to follow, support or encourage their leaders. I am afraid they are right to ask for more, yet dread their narrow view of leadership.

Jesus said,

"But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave." Matthew 20:26-27.

Jesus, whose leadership embodied a clear-sighted vision of servanthood and spurned the cult of personality and celebrity.

What happens when the serving, humble, (self-doubting) leader is called visionless? When he is so unsupported that he decides to give up on leading as something he is unfit to do? Can you teach and pastor people without leading them?

Is it cynical to say that the leaders we aspire to are the ones that talk themselves up, the ones who build personal profiles and mega-church ministries? Do we judge leadership by fruit or by heart?
Perhaps their fruit shows their leadership gift, or perhaps we are just not so different to the world in how we see value in people.

I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Water (life + death)

Let's talk about water. Why water?

He tells us about the spa they've bought and the logistics of installation. Later, I hear about the new pool, mapped out in the backyard. Fingers crossed, it's ready for the pool party.

Some women walk miles to bring water for their families to drink. Some of us can turn a tap and it flows unstinted.

There are places where children die because they drink water that's not clean enough. It carries infections and their under-nourished bodies cannot retain enough water to keep functioning. Nearly 38 000 die each week.

There's a river system winding its way from Queensland, to the sea, in South Australia. It supports irrigation to much of our fertile farmland. The plan released last week proposes keeping more of the water in the river, so it can flow. But solutions are not simple when people farm to support families and homes, and communities are built intertwined with rivers.

Today is Blog Action Day (Oct 15th) and the focus is Water. About 1 billion people do not have access to safe water, according to Change.org, who have powered this blog event.

So why don't we...

• donate to a development organisation that works to work to aid development, including safe water - such as TEAR Australia or Water Aid.
• give our birthday (or Christmas) gifts to development, like this.
• learn more about ways we can use water wisely. Work out what we use.
• stop buying water in plastic bottles - I'm going to get a re-usable drink bottle.
• think about the water needed to make what we wear, drive and eat.

Change.org|Start Petition

Knowing how to party

Some opinions are fashionable to have. Often they are about parenting, and they usually involve judging how other people manage it.

In the past few years, I've had a variety of conversations about kids birthday parties. Some have involved tongue-clicking at the amount of money so-and-so spent on a jumping castle or a fairy or a clown or a cake. I've prided myself on my children knowing they are loved by my every-day actions rather than their birthday party or present budget.

This week we went to a birthday party at a fun park. I know my friend spent lots of money on it. I also know that this was the most powerful way, my friend knows, to tell her son, and her friends and family, that she loves them.

I might not think that her party was a wise use of money, and I might even have ethically sound, biblically literate reasons for doing parties differently to her.

But I better be careful about how I treat her love-gift to me and my family. Because how I respond to her generosity and her desire to celebrate (both biblically mandated ideas) needs to be with love and grace.

I better ask myself whether my high ideals and small-l liberal opinions on child-rearing are a key component of want I want to show her about faith in God. Or do I want to celebrate with her in the way she has graciously asked me to join her.

I am challenged to make sure I'm living Christ-like principles, rather than middle-class principles.

I thank God for my dear friend, who loves to be generous. I thank God for her delight in seeing kids having fun, and her delight in giving. May he help me to show his love wisely and graciously.

I thank God for a trip on the Ferris wheel, unanimously voted the best thing we did all day.

Happiness - is it too much hard work?

I get an email in my inbox at work every Monday from Dr Happy. I am impressed by him - he writes positively, encourages people to take care of themselves and lead balanced lives. He has tips for being happy and stories about appreciating life and what we have.

But I have started deleting it without reading it. I can't handle any more positive psychology!

I do want to be happy - let me explain that further - I want to be contented with my life and enjoy the people and happenings around me. I want to be optimistic and encouraging and find joy in the everyday.

But I don't want a list of 27 things that I need to complete (or avoid) in order to be able to tick off 'happy' in my 'achieved for today' box.

Pursuing happiness, as a goal, is the one thing guaranteed to make it unachievable. This is my theory, and I admit the hypothesis is probably unprovable. Happiness is actually the product of pursuing something else. Pursuing happiness is self-focussed, and shifting focus from self is a key step to becoming happy.

John Piper, talks about Christian hedonism. That we should pursue pleasure (happiness), but in God rather than in ourselves. And this will lead to happiness based on a trustworthy, faithful God who loves us and made us to find joy in glorifying him.

Happiness as a list of 'to-do's just weighs me down.

Happiness as a meeting with the god of grace, where he touches my life, all its minutiae and ordinariness, and tints it heaven-like. Now that is the happiness I seek.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-13.

Australia votes...

I want to record my disappointment.

To all you politicians out there...

Congratulations on your tireless hand-shaking, smiling, waving, criticism of each other and status quo-ing. Thanks for listening to all the polls - yes all those ones that change from moment to moment depending on Julia's oufit or Tony's budgie-smugglers.

Well. Australia has voted, and we are all decidedly uninspired. Informal votes are up. Sticking to our convictions is down. Compassion, generosity, being known for deeply held principle - apparently that is just so last century. Weather-vane politics is in.

I'm afraid we are going to get the government we deserve, having created this poll-driven, fickle monster with our own self-absorption.

PS (ignore this parochial, bitter rant if you don't live in south western sydney...). I wish I had written 'Chris Hayes' and numbered his box 1 on my green ballot paper. Who said you could shift him to Fowler, ALP? We liked him here in Werriwa! (Yes channel 7 you didn't have typo on screen you just had no idea about what was going on in individual electorates!)

Opinions #2

Opinions are like a packet of chips...

Great to share with your friends over a beer at the pub,
but a stranger sitting next to you on the bus is not quite so keen to be offered them.

(Newsjack, BBC 4)

Jesus Shaped Values

Two posts at Jenny's blog provoked thought today. Economic rationalism shapes how we ascribe value to work (by salary size) and the perceived necessities for raising kids.

We live in a world where some people earn 6 and 7 figure salaries for moving money from place to place, while others work in physically demanding jobs, for long days and receive a few dollars. From a global perspective, money as a measure of either the difficulty of a job or the significance of a task is bankrupt.

Salary is much more dependent on your location in the world, the economy you work within and the power of 'the market' in determining employment. Still we are drawn in to measuring our labour and often our value by the money we receive. At the root of this thinking, is the idea that the value of a person is in what they do.

As Jenny pointed out, so much valuable work is unpaid (child-rearing, care of elderly or disabled family members, volunteer work) or paid comparatively little (eg. teachers, welfare, service). Pay as a measure of value fails.

A market economy will never truly estimate the value of care, of service or of nurture. It just does not compute, because economic rationalism has difficulty with intangibles that have hard-to-measure outcomes. The wisdom of putting time and energy into love and family is foolishness to someone who measures value in dollars.

Money has such high value among us because it is a means of obtaining things. Most people want to have things. Unfortunately our covetous hearts are ripe and ready to be plucked by the lie of "You need more stuff". Then we have children. And loving our children can become synonymous with making sure they have enough of the right stuff.

Where I live, plenty of kids share bedrooms and don't go to private schools. But I still see parents who worry about the size of their Christmas laybys and Chrisco hampers, at the expense of creating a loving, nurturing home for their children. Expressing love is difficult and we have been sold the lie that giving stuff is an effective way of loving someone.

We live in one of the richest nations in the world. and we can be fooled into thinking we are poor because someone else has more than us. When we feel poor (and in reality we are not) we become poor in the values that really matter - generosity, thankfulness, grace and celebration - ultimately, poor in love. We assume scarcity rather than abundance and start protecting our patches and feathering our nests, rather than sharing our blessings.

Jesus worked in an economy based on love, service and sacrifice. Using that measure, the work of nurture and care of our families is exceedingly valuable. He did not choose people based on salary or monetary worth. He did not love people by giving them stuff. Instead he spent time with a vast array of people, often those who scored low on the measure of value employed by society at the time. Outcasts, sinners, the sick, children, women, to name a few. He treated each one of those people with dignity, with love and with compassion. He called them to turn from worldly values and live with heavenly values, with a passion to serve and to bless.

People need to see us doing that, so they can begin to question the lies that the world tells them about how to value people and how to love people.

Mental Health Reform Needed

In vain I have looked for the icon to post a video here. My minimal technical knowledge is bamboozled for today...

Anyway, watch this video from GetUp starring Patrick McGorry. Health reform needs to include mental health reform in Australia.

Opinions

Opinions are like grandparents...

everybody has them and they're just a bit more rascist than you're comfortable with.

(Thankyou Newsjack, BBC4)